New Year, old me

Hi! Happy New Year! Nothing is going to change. I don't even want to try to pretend that I am being positive. I definitely hate New Year's resolutions. That makes no sense to me. It is not the date that will change anything. We have to take life into our own hands and do something. The New Year's motivation quickly passes, as can be seen in particular in the gym, which is now closed. 

Overall, my life surprises me all the time. At the end of the year, I found out that my horse has an incurable disease and will never be able to train again. Currently I try to spend as much time as possible with him, I walk with him and groom him. The most important thing is that he doesn't suffer. 

This year seems to be really wonderful. Exams are coming up soon. I will probably be thrown out of French Philology by English, yes by English studying French. I cannot learn English well. This is my failure of life. I try, but it doesn't work. It is difficult to return to this language after 4 years without contact with it. The worst thing is that nobody believes me that I am trying. "You have to learn more", but how?! I spend more time on English than on French because I still have English in law studies. Well, that is... I'm studying two courses. I only hope to pass all subjects on European law. If I am to get out of French philology, I will somehow survive this because there is no future after these studies. I apologise to all colleagues, but that is the truth. 

I will come back to history. Yes, that is my plan for this year. I will take care of my mental health, because these studies have completely destroyed me. 

Stay safe!